jokes

lets have some jokes from you guys ,
keep them clean,its a forum open to all ages

something topical like this ;

whats the difference between the australian rugby team and a tea bag, ?
the tea bag stays in the cup longer

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming
around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.


The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that
inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up
with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries
about being eaten."


A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" and lo and
behold, Justin turned into a shark.


Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old
mate.


Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring
and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to
them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause
of his sad plight.


While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought
perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn.


He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he
found himself turned back into a prawn.


With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends
and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn
cocktail - it's much worse).


Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old
pal.


"Where's Christian?" he asked.


"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the
enemy & became a shark", came the reply.


Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set
off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding
back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend,
come out and see me again."


Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the
enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."


Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.".........















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.wait for it,its worth it !






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..... "I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian

Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day
Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw.
Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse says, 'Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it,
but here's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a
plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure enough, here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the
treadmill. And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and
transports it and Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dopey so and so put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.'